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Respond to the classmate below in 100-150 words. Hello my name is Taylor Drabek and I live in Los Angeles, CA. The conflict example that I am choosing to write about is a real-world conflict within my own life.The way that the book defines interpersonal conflict is as a problematic situation that has four key characteristics, the people involved are interdependent, seek incompatible goals or outcomes, the conflict has the power to adversely affect the relationship if not addressed, and lastly there is a sense of urgency to find a resolution. (Cahn, 2014, p. 3). With that being said the conflict example I will describe is a conflict that occurred between myself and my parents so in the beginning there was heavy interdependence. I am a queer individual and my parents are extremely religious and conservative so when I initially came out there was major conflict. A destructive characteristic of this conflict is I was very accommodating to the desires and outcomes of my parents which led to gunny-sacking which is defined as “…storing up hurts and anger until it explodes…”. (Cahn, 2014, p. 35). A positive characteristic of this conflict is there was eventually a collaboration which is defined as “…using integrative behaviors and developing mutually satisfying agreements to solve the problem.” (Cahn, 2014, p. 42). Both parties could move past hurt, and anger into a more positive accepting space. This conflict took place over the course of eleven years so there is many layers to the resolution, but are conflicts with family ever really truly resolved? I think good resolution techniques are compromising, civility, and a level of accommodation. For me the most important aspect of resolving a conflict is civility which is defined as “…constituted by attitude of respect toward others manifested in our behavior towards them ; that respect is not predicted on how we feel about them in particular. Civility requires that we are mindful of others around us and aware of the impact that our behavior has on them.” (Cahn, 2014, p. 20).

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